Grinding Down The Point of No Return, Day 123. Year. Fun.
1. Make A Strange Dog’s Day. Let Them Know You’re Intimidated By Their Caged Barking.
2. Enjoy A Fine Second World Dinner.
3. “Because Nobody Would Ever Watch A Live Show About People Sitting Around Watching A Reality Show, That’s Why.”
This actually happened to me today…
I was walking to The Russ’s, feet from my house, head still spinning with the French film Holy Motors, when this Siegfried and Roy White Tiger White Suburban Monster SUV stops beside me. Eye contact.
“Hey, can I ask you a question,”
Clean-cut salesman-type, thin-faced, early 30’s light-haired douche–sorry, honestly first word that popped into my mind–carefully enunciated.
“I’m looking for something.”
(Great, I suck at directions, douche from the ‘burbs.)
I took a step toward the SUV.
Somehow, gobsmacked, don’t know why, I said, “Sorry. Wrong Guy.”
He nodded, drove a quarter of a block up the street parked at the Korean grocery, in front, went in the store, came out 15 seconds later, walked across the street to what appeared to be an elderly Asian woman, talked to her for a few seconds, and then headed toward the creepy smoke shop and out of sight.
I guess, upon reflection, maybe I don’t look like the kind of guy who has sellable ‘rock’ on him, outside, at 4 o’clock in the afternoon in Lincoln MF Ne.
But I guess I do.
’97 Bottles of Weird on The Wall, ’97 Days of Fun. YOFO.
or It Is What It Is.
2. Replace Head With TV For Next Gen Virtual ‘Life’.
3. “This Whipped Cream Is Best Served With Nipples”
—Uncle Al’s Alcohol Whipping Creamed Shooters.
Hail to The Kaiser, Roll in the New Year, of Fun, Day ’94:
1. Make the Math Work, Add More Variables.
2. Death Muddin’ 3000, Buck Wild Edition.
3. Starting at Zero, Figure Out How Long It Would Take You To Reach One Million Dollars On Your Current Salary. Pretend You’ll Live That Long.
Saturday In The Park, I Think It Was The ’82 Days of Fun.
1. Add ‘-tini’ to Drink Names to Class It Up.
2. Whistle While You Pee.
3. ‘Sexy’ Chore Day.
Pop Culture Today: Indy Dad Kurt Vile.
Ever since I was a teen, I’ve watched at least five movies a week. I’m a total media junkie. Five Movies a week, 10 or so records, a boardgame or two, and a crapton of TV. Honestly, I’ve weighted it, a crapton. I’m in my mid 40’s now (remembering exact ages is for the soon to be depressed), so by my estimation I’ve seen thousands of movies.
On the Buddism scale of quiet zen reflection, I’m a total failure unless, as I imagine this is the way the world now operates, we’re just a collection of what media we’ve consumed. By that measure I’m an A Number One Success as an American. USA! USA! USA! (Sorry starving third worlders with your endless time to contemplate a meaningless life before a ripe old death at 23.)
Now that almost every movie, TV show, CD and book is just a stream or download away, I’ve kinda hit a brick wall. I now spend more time searching Netflix Streaming or Hulu than watching said premium services. I’m not a big fan of most mainstream, big studio fare, I like surprises and most popcorn movies have suprises surgically drained from them to appeal to the mass audiences their budgets demand. I know I’m sounding like a movie snob, but Prometheus this weekend, YO! (excited)
So while browsing the B&N movie book section, I came across two books where I wanted to see every movie in them. Granted, I’d already seen 2/3rds of the films in each book, but saw some gems I hadn’t seen. The books The 500 Essential Cult Movies and Horror!: 333 Films to Scare You to Death. I’d also been trying to plow through the Criterion Collection on Hulu, since my exposure to classic foreign films was a little underexposed. And for fun I added the Rolling Stones 500 Greatest Albums of All Time, so I’m not reviewing movies everyday.
Oh, I’m making another stab at a review blog. Basically, I always have four choices each day for the next review. In addition, there’ll be smaller reviews, twitter jokes and other errata every day. Also, the reviews may favor horror movies because that’s what I like. The format came about pretty quickly, check out The Rules for more info.
To quoteth DEVO, “Freedom of choice is what you got, Freedom from choice is what you want.”
The older reviews are just the bones of an older review site.
And so it begins again. Think of it as a another daily recommendation site from someone you sorta know. See y’all tomorrow.
First Up: 200 Motels (1971), A Bell From Hell (1973), 21 Days (1940), or #500. Aquemini by OUTKAST.